How can piano practice be more painless?

My husband and I decided a long time ago that our children could choose their extra-curricular activities and we would try to accommodate their interests and goals in life. We decided that our children would also be allowed to decide when they quit an activity (as long as they had given the activity sufficient time and effort and had met the commitment they had made i.e. stick with the team until the season's over.)

We made an exception to that rule on THE PIANO. This, we decided, was a non-negotiable activity. All our children will learn the piano. But, you guessed it, our kids hate the piano. We have tried to incentiv-ize the piano, we have tried making it fun, we have tried making it part of the daily routine, so that it seems like just another task in the day. However, our children (particularly one child) will have a crying jag about piano practice at least once a week. I am still firmly decided on them learning the piano, any great ideas to making this more painless? Sister A

Dear Sister A,

You are wise in allowing your children optional extra-curricular activities and setting parameters for both quitting and keeping commitments. You are also prudent to have piano practicing be a non-optional activity. I say that because learning a musical instrument has so many long-term benefits.

Now, what I really see as your challenge is how to motivate your children to do something they don’t want to do. What you do have to do is give your children a reason to practice the piano. The principle here is that children will do anything if the benefits are worth the misery. It is not the same with us? We seem to do whatever benefits us most, even if the cost is dear in other areas of our lives.

I would talk with your children and work out a simple plan for rewarding them for 1) practicing each weekday, 2) for practicing without being reminded, 3) for practicing without complaining, 4) for cleaning up the piano area after their practicing time, and 5) for returning and reporting that the piano practicing is done and the area is clean.

You might have a family counsel about this issues, explaining that hard things are made easier with rewards along the way and then choose as a family how to best make piano practicing the most desirable activity in your home.

For example, a wise mother might assign one point to each of the above skills: practicing, self-initiative, no complaining, cleaning up, and returning and reporting. Marbles, checker pieces, or fake money might be the tokens that are given at the end of each practice session. (Yes, a mother needs to be involved with the initial training period and occasionally thereafter as her children continue to practice the piano.) A child who has 15 points to spend at the end of the week might be allowed to watch a family video on Friday night with popcorn. Anyone who hasn’t earned enough points gets to play elsewhere in the home, but will have a chance for movies next time.

There are other example and possibilities, but the principle, again, is that piano practicing must the most important activity your child will want to do each day! Give them a good reason to do so.

Take care now, Sister M

Address more questions to marie@houseoforder.com.