Just Breathe!

Quarterly Enrichment Activity September 9th at 6:30- “Just Breathe”

We are having dinner and a guest speaker Victoria Anderson. She will be talking about stress management. She has a great book that we are making available for any that would like to read it before or after Enrichment. It is called Be Still,--Stress and Anxiety Management for Latter-day Saints, and we are offering copies of it to pass around.. Sign ups are going around, or contact a member of the presidency if you are interested.

Temple Group Change

Hey Sisters,
To coincide with the ward temple week, we will be changing the Enrichment temple group days a little bit. Instead of going the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays, we will be going the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays to the 10:00 am and 8:00pm sessions. Look for the sign ups in the binders during church on Sunday for more details!

Nagging Our Kids?

How often should I ask and re-ask my child to do a job before I am told that I am nagging?

Ask only once. The problem with nagging is that it is ineffective. It doesn’t work. It just sets up a “make me do it” situation. If you have received a commitment from the child that he will do a job and you know that he is unlikely to do it, the best method to initial success it to “watch him until you are obeyed.”

Let’s say John is supposed to clean the toilet on Saturday morning before playing video games. You find him playing his video games in the basement with the toilet still dirty. You go into his bedroom, ask him to turn off the video game, sit down on the bed together, and indicate,

“John, at family council on Sunday you committed to clean your toilet on Saturday morning before you played video games. Let’s go now and I’ll stand at the door and watch you clean the toilet. Yes, I know you know how to do it and I don’t have to watch you, but you haven’t proved yourself trustworthy to do it on your own because I found you playing video games without completely this job. Yes, I know you say that you forgot. But, it is your responsibility not to forget.

“If you have questions, you can ask me while you do the toilet and if I have comments, I can make them. From now on if you do your Saturday jobs without asking, it is all right with me to have you just come to me after they are done and I’ll check that they are done correctly. But when you don’t, I will be watching until they are done successfully. And today, because you didn’t keep your commitment, you will need to also do an extra job for me after the toilet is done. I expect you to be trustworthy to your commitments.”

Many mothers indicate that don’t have time for this kind of training. It is slow, tedious and onerous, to say the least. But children need to be taught and trained. If they are (slow as it will initially be), they are more likely to become independent and trustworthy. You are in the best position to take a few moments now to make sure things are done right by watching until you are obeyed. This is always better than spending much of your parenting years nag, nag, and nagging without good results.

Take care now, Sister M

Address more questions to marie@houseoforder.com

Ward Temple Night

Hello Ward Members,

With only half of the year left to reach our ward goals of completing the ordinance work for 600 people, including sealing to spouse cards, we need your help. We invite you to help us find and complete the work for our ancestors.

Currently, we have around 200 individual ordinance cards with a majority of them only needing sealing work to complete. If you would like to help us complete this work will you fill out the form below, so we know who is able to attend the temple this month and complete these cards. This way we can reserve for you the number of cards with the ordinances you would like to do.

Ward Temple Night has changed. It has moved to the week before Fast Sunday. So, please put August 1st on your calendars. For those who are able to attend on Saturday and want to attend an endowment session, we are meeting in the chapel for the 5:30pm session. Please bring your temple cards or sign up below to help complete other ward members temple cards. If you are not able to attend at this time we invite you to go during the week.
I've invited you to fill out the form Help complete temple cards in the ward. To fill it out, visit:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dEg2TlFIR0dPTWtreDBxREU4a0Z1aVE6MA..
Please forward this email to others in the ward who did not receive it. Also, you may complete the form multiple times for different types of ordinances.

Also, here is the link to our Ward Family History Progress and Goals:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=pPc-KpqYpQdIIoX1iXaYjNg&hl=en

Anyone may add their name to the bottom of the list and add the number of cards that need work and the number of them they have completed since the beginning of this year. If you have any question, comments, or need help, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Sincerely,

Gordon Roylance
gjroylance@gmail.com

Public Discipline.

How do you handle discipline when you are in a public setting? For example, my son was biting his brother on the back as the deacon was standing there to pass them the bread during sacrament meeting. I was horrified! I took him outside, but I didn't feel like I could properly punish him in church where we weren't at home for a time out. This is only one example, but even at the store, or at another home it gets tricky.

As a side note, any ideas on how to stop biting? We thought we he had stopped, but it is coming back when he is extremely frustrated. (If you know anything about the love languages, his is touch.)

Thanks
Sister A

As much as possible, you should avoid disciplining in a public setting. First, it is not effective because you have to restrain the normal methods you usually use, and second, with an audience, the child often takes advantage of the situation to further embarrass you.

So, the first rule of public discipline is to remove the child to the most private circumstances possible to make the initial intercession. If the situation is acceptable to you, full discipline can happen here. If not, the wrong behavior is discussed, the fact that discipline will be administered at home is shared (when applicable), the child is asked if they would like to try again to behave, and you return to the public situation.

Often the child repeats the behavior almost immediately after returning to the public situation. If this happens, remove the child completely from the situation and return home (if you can). While this will be inconvenient if you are in church or at the store, it usually only takes one, two, or maybe three times for the child to understand that Mom means business. Each time the child disobeys, take the same disciplinary action (as nearly as possible). Children are smart and they soon get the point.

Often misbehavior is a dominance issue between child and parent. You must build solid walls of discipline for the child’s safety and security. If you say one thing, follow through. If you say another thing, follow through. If you say no, you must mean it. If you promise something, keep your promise. This way the child knows he can trust you to be consistent.

Now, about biting. This is the most difficult challenge for most parents because the common method of doing to the child what he does to others isn’t so easily accomplished because we are softies at heart and can hardly conceive of biting our child to teach them not to bite. So whatever discipline method you decide to use, it must be strong enough that it less desirable to continue biting than to refrain from biting. This is the principle: the child must not want to bite any more because the consequences are more disagreeable than the pleasure of biting. Yes, I know you think they don’t have any control over themselves yet and are just biting in a moment of passion. It has been my experience that strong enough discipline will quickly change their minds and methods.

Remember, be around after the disciplining, too, so immediate reconciliation can take place. At their deepest level, children want to please you. When they have done wrong and they know it, after appropriate discipline hug and reaffirm that they are loved and needed your family. They are not bad, just their behavior is.


Thanks. Sister M
Please feel free to send your questions to marie@houseoforder.com

Enrichment Has Changed!

We want everyone to be clear on the new schedule for Enrichment. We will be having 4 quarterly Enrichment Activities. The next one will be in September. We would like everyone to attend these quarterly meetings. We are also offering what we call interest groups on an ongoing basis. As of right now these include a lunch in the park group, a temple group and a scripture study group. These are offered as optional activities. If you feel they will benefit you please participate. If not, there is no pressure. Look for the sign ups in the binders on Sunday.

Ward 4th of July Party.

Don't forget...this Friday evening at 5:45 is our Primary parade. Meet at the park behind the Coombs'. Please have your scooters, bikes, etc. already decorated before you arrive. Parents of young children are invited to walk with them. The parade will begin at 6:00.

Dinner will be served at Wimbleton Park right after the parade. Please bring a Potluck to share. Come ready to have fun and get wet!