Siblings Sharing With Siblings...

How can I get my children to have more love for one another and show it more often? How can they become more charitable towards their family members?

Sharing and caring is not natural to most young children, but there is a way to help this principle become more a part of their characters. Simple, repetitive experiences in sharing will go a long way to move a child to understand the tremendous importance of patience, splitting treasures down the middle for another’s enjoyment, and giving up what they own to another.
We introduce this skill by helping young children desire to share temporarily, to share by dividing, and then to share by giving away. Most children don’t learn the skill of sharing until they feel a sense of ownership. In other words, real sharing can only follow real ownership. So first you help the child to understand that, yes, his birthday gifts belong to him. Yes, they are his to use as he desires, and yes he may not choose to share right away. It is important he have a period of feeling in control of his possessions for then he can truly share them.
At the same time, to teach the skill of sharing, you can also casually converse by using sharing examples from your own life. So when Jared refuses to share his new toys with his brothers, you might say, “Wow, I sure appreciate it when someone shares with me. Just last night, Dad divided his cake in half and gave me part to eat. And yesterday, Marci let Jason hold her special doll for a minute, and Friday Elizabeth decided to give away two books she had finished reading.”
Then, to continue to impress the need for this skill in the lives of your children, you can generously share with them. “Jared, there is only one peach left and I know that you really like fresh peaches. I would be happy to split it with you. Here, take this bigger half.” Over and over again, you model sharing. You share with your spouse, with your peers, and with your children. You also talk about sharing whenever possible. It is only then that you can begin to impress the need for sharing upon your children.

When teaching the variabilities of sharing, first teach children how to share when there will be no personal loss.
For example, two children might each be given six crackers in a clear Ziploc bag, but each child has a unique kind of cracker. By each sharing three crackers with their companion they each still have six crackers, just three of each kind.
After children feel comfortable with sharing when there will be differences but not loss, then give children the chance to share when there will be no personal loss, but the results will not be even.
For example, two children might each be given five crackers in a clear Ziploc bag, with each child having a unique kind of cracker. Now the children will still have five crackers when they share, but they will have two of one kind of cracker and three of the other kind.
Finally, give children the chance to share when they will experience some personal loss. This is an interesting situation and often one that will need to be repeated over and over again, sometimes with the children on the gain end of division, and sometimes on the loss end of division.
For example, one child might be given six crackers and the second child be given five crackers. Now when they attempt to share, the six-cracker child can divide evenly but the five-cracker child will have to decide whether to give up three and keep two or keep three while she gives up two.
Initially, offer the opportunity to the five-cracker child to share more abundantly with the second child with words such as,
“Barbara, its Jody’s birthday today. How about letting her have the extra cracker from your bag?”
Barbara may or may not share in this way, but you have modeled a possible opportunity of sharing.
Creative children might take the extra cracker and divide it in half, thus solving the problem of uneven opportunity. If they do, applaud their creativity even as they share. If they keep the majority of the crackers and share the minority of the crackers, don’t despair, there will be plenty of chances for future sharing experiences, especially if you continually provide such opportunities day to day. If the children prove to be generous, you might say,
“Barbara, you were so generous today with your crackers, I think I will give you a generous portion of dessert tonight. Wow, I was just so impressed when I saw you share in this way.”
If they don’t feel and act as generously as you would like, you could proffer,
“Barbara, sometimes sharing your extras is hard. Maybe another day you will feel more like giving up the extra cracker. And sometimes Jody will feel like giving up her abundance.”