Getting Children to Help with Chores

What is the best way to get children to help with chores. Charts, points etc. What seems to work the best?


Parents would be wise, especially with younger children, to provide a visual aid to help the child see his progress, his accomplishes and to remind him of his jobs. Stickers on charts, colored-in graphs, or any other measuring tool that indicates to the child he is improving will provide great motivation. You may also want to associate certain jobs with certain treats. A bed made gets a big double kiss on each ear, the dishes done right and in a timely manner merits reading with Mom for ten minutes, and hanging up your towel after bathing is good for a bit of perfumed lotion for the girls and a splash of aftershave for the boys.
Children will get bored with charts and graphs if two additional elements are not present. Remember, after a while just adding stars to a chart is not enough. From the beginning, there needs to be a goal.
“David, this week we are working on making your bed in the morning. You have three other jobs during the day, too. I have made up a chart to show your jobs and you can add one gold star each time I have inspected your work and passed you off. Seven stars are good for a treat from the candy jar. Twenty-eight stars, or doing all your four jobs for a full week, merits a trip to the ice cream store with Dad.”
Also, parents need to be sensitive to children needing to move from one set of jobs to another as they mature, have a birthday, or get bored with the current motivational system. You might remove jobs they are doing quite regularly off the chart and add new ones.
“David, you have made your bed and done your other three jobs for a full month. Wow, you have also gone with Dad four times to the ice cream store! Now it is time to take those jobs off the chart and add several more. Would you be willing to empty the dishwasher in the morning of the silverware and put it away? We will make this a new entry on your job chart.
“No, we won’t have to keep adding stars for the jobs you do well. They are part of your personal habits now. But, if you keep doing your four jobs and also do this new one each day, we will add one star for your four jobs and another one for the new job you are training to do. Again, seven stars if good for a candy treat and fourteen stars, or doing all your previous jobs and also the new ones with competence, will merit another weekly trip to the ice cream store with Dad.”
Even with charts and other aids in place, children enjoy other motivators to keep it lively and interesting. For example, how about using a timer?
“Brian, can you get your job done in ten minutes and receive a chocolate chip treat? How about if we make this job worth ten chocolate chips? Every minute past ten minutes it takes you to finish the job, we will minus one chocolate chip and every minute faster you are we will add one chip?”
Or, how about using the clock as a motivator?
“Tyler, can you get the dishes done before the clock shows ‘1:11’? That will means you have 10 minutes to do a great job. I’ll even throw in a bonus sticker if you don’t complain and finish up before that clock says 1:11.”
Or how about connecting a cleanup job with an upcoming event?
“Dad has just called. Do you think we can pick up the toys in the family room before he walks in the door from work? If so, I’ll let you fill in another square on your graph? Yes, Marci, you can help, too. I’ll even pick up ten toys to help you get a good start. Ready? Let’s get started!”

Take care now, Sister M
Address your questions to marie@houseoforder.com